Posts Tagged ‘win’

…And my unconscious share the night with the lonely cold moon…

All my fears were soaking deep through the rocks under my numb body…

I got no idea how my tears turned into sweet pillow of tranquil insanity…

I had no idea if I will open my eyes again …

Abruptly ,  I felt how the sunrise started to burn my fresh scars…

Probably that was one of the few moments that I could say I was so happy of feeling pain … Cause that was the only way to coax my blurry mind that I am still alive.

And I was  there sizzling, enjoying my  extra minutes of vitality …

” As near you get to the peak it gets harder doesn’t it? ”

I turned my face up wondering who said that.

And there in front of my blurry vision there was an old skinny person … Barefoot , skimpy dusty clothes … I could not manage to see his face clearly cause the sun was throwing its rays straight through him …

Somehow I pull off my body of the rocks…

I stared shocked for a while at that strange person that was on the same rocky path as me…

” Who are you? What are you doing here? ” – asked him with the hope that he will make me calm with some good  news that I am not so lost…

…. He did not answer me at all…

He turned his back and slowly start walking down my path… Straight from where I was coming from…

” Hey… Stop  … I need to know where I am ? Where and when would be the end of all that?” – was shouting desperately , hoping  he will  answer me…

Even without turning his face to me he just raised his arm , pointing  the mountain behind us:

“You need to  go over there. Everyone  wants to be there. … But very few knows what they want to find there ”

” You’ve been there?” – I asked him curiously .

” Actually  , everyone of us got the chance to be there  by some reason … Otherwise why we are trying so hard ? ” – by adding this the guy shade just melt in the burning horizon …

 

And I was  running….

Running too long  ….

Suddenly, all those wild beast noises were deaden by the sigh of my exhausted by  fear lungs…

All that jungle…. All that alive chaos hide itself behind the  horizon . The  horizon that was already kissing the sunset of my nightmare…

And the pain of my bleeding bare feet start wake up my blindfolded mind…

And  I was blind … Blind by  fear … Fear of failure … Fear of being not understand … Fear of what actually  crawl in my just human soul… Of being on my own ,  of  all that endless ocean of tears  that could  drawn my dreams….

I  kept running , running and  running away… from everything that scares my inner ME….

Somehow the forest of all those fears disappeared and  were changed into rocks of  testifying my will for happiness ….

The pain of my chosen path did not stop … Actually it became even bigger… Twisting my mental limits.. Testing my will for something more than horror end…Regretting that I could die by just like that…

I’m not sure why I kept pushing my way forward … That run  actually  just put me in a  cage . Cage, built by  nothing than personal  fears and nightmares which probably never ever will exist in my real live…

So all those  rocks under my feet were nothing than pain. Pain that  actually made me  feel… Feel  and realise what’s the real life for … No sugar coated  stories … No fakes … Just real pain that actually  managed to  reject  all those delusional fears from my scared mind…

So I was running  and my path  was taking me nowhere – at first thought nothing than a hard and torturous trip… But trip that actually   led me ahead … Above  all those things  ,staying in the deep  dark   bottom of my mind…

At some point… I hobbled badly … And  even before to be able to blink, my whole wet and shaking body was scraped on the cold stones of my trail…I remember how I stayed like that for hours … With empty eyes … Just tears , spilling my thoughts all over the  rocky  ground …. No heartbeat … Just the blood from my injures … Soaking the soil with my love…

I guess that was the end? If so … Why all that story should be written and shared ?

Why should we run cause fears ? Why  should we always prefer the actual real pain … than the nightmares of our  illusive  dread?

 

Someone up  there gifted you with all you need – life…

Life gave you all you desire for – path…

That path gave you all you wish for – dreams…

And  here you are – on your path, walking step by step, wondering when that thing called ” DREAM” will come true. And you are confused, which is the right direction. And you are scared of all that danger that you might face on your way to happiness.

You should not be ashamed of that so need needed but so missing answer- most of us do not have it too.But the main idea is not waste time of wondering…

Put your dream in front of your eyes – that is the direction. Pack in your mind all of your unique ideas – that is all of the language you need through all of that  life adventure. Start walking… Just step by step ahead…

Do not feel sorry if you step in the mud with your bare feet… Even you should be proud of it. Probably you would be the only one- brave enough to make it with dignity of a wise person.

Do not be scared of the stormy clouds above your head. This is no danger, especially if your dream is a top of a huge mountain , way above the clouds.

Do not feel miserable when your skin soaked in that pouring rain of stupor , loneliness and misunderstanding . It is just the tears of all those selfish people that are too scared to believe in their pure dreams. The tears of all those that are not brave enough to be like you.

You are completely deaf for that wind which brings to your ears the sound of all that  crowd of regret…Wind that tries to roughly spike your mind , every time when you run towards your dream.This is no pain- you are too much into the sound of your heart that beats as a tons of steal, like  a steam engine with one goal – your dream. And the weight of that massive train is about to smash every little thing that lays on your rails ….You are about to smash every little  bug of hypocrisy, every little coin of greed, every wall of social regret..

And when you are that battlefield – do not fear that you are all alone against all. Do not feel weak , because your bare hands that should face the billions of deadly blades. Do not go out there with the thought that you are about to lose your live. Go out there with that thought that you are about to prove there is a reason to keep living – the reason your dream  should come true. Go out there and spill your last drop of love for that dream. Go out there and waste your last breath of hope for that idea.Go out there with a smile of already gained victory. Because the fact you reached it over here makes you already a winner.

Stand up in front of all that could kill you with no fear. There is no way you could lose a battle that you already won . Just the fact you have got that big heart which is  brave enough to face all of your fears. Just because you are one of those knights that for most of us  these days are just a myth. Just  because you know what you want and you are ready to spill all you got  for that little taste of happiness …. All that  makes you immortal, makes your  existence reasonable and in the end there is nothing else than sweet taste of satisfaction of your right-spent life.

Tasting that glory moment  straight from the tip of your lips… You are there… Your bare feet are buried into that fresh grass of joy, that tickles you and brings smile on your face. You could see the success in the clean sky above the storm. You could hear the raw sound of that solo guitar of your well done walk.

At that point you realize that everyone could be on the top of the world , but only you could be on the top of that dream. Oxygen of fresh freedom fills up your tired lungs.Sun of happiness tender kiss your eyes. The wind of loneliness just softly play with the leaves of your memories.