Posts Tagged ‘chapter’

And I was  running….

Running too long  ….

Suddenly, all those wild beast noises were deaden by the sigh of my exhausted by  fear lungs…

All that jungle…. All that alive chaos hide itself behind the  horizon . The  horizon that was already kissing the sunset of my nightmare…

And the pain of my bleeding bare feet start wake up my blindfolded mind…

And  I was blind … Blind by  fear … Fear of failure … Fear of being not understand … Fear of what actually  crawl in my just human soul… Of being on my own ,  of  all that endless ocean of tears  that could  drawn my dreams….

I  kept running , running and  running away… from everything that scares my inner ME….

Somehow the forest of all those fears disappeared and  were changed into rocks of  testifying my will for happiness ….

The pain of my chosen path did not stop … Actually it became even bigger… Twisting my mental limits.. Testing my will for something more than horror end…Regretting that I could die by just like that…

I’m not sure why I kept pushing my way forward … That run  actually  just put me in a  cage . Cage, built by  nothing than personal  fears and nightmares which probably never ever will exist in my real live…

So all those  rocks under my feet were nothing than pain. Pain that  actually made me  feel… Feel  and realise what’s the real life for … No sugar coated  stories … No fakes … Just real pain that actually  managed to  reject  all those delusional fears from my scared mind…

So I was running  and my path  was taking me nowhere – at first thought nothing than a hard and torturous trip… But trip that actually   led me ahead … Above  all those things  ,staying in the deep  dark   bottom of my mind…

At some point… I hobbled badly … And  even before to be able to blink, my whole wet and shaking body was scraped on the cold stones of my trail…I remember how I stayed like that for hours … With empty eyes … Just tears , spilling my thoughts all over the  rocky  ground …. No heartbeat … Just the blood from my injures … Soaking the soil with my love…

I guess that was the end? If so … Why all that story should be written and shared ?

Why should we run cause fears ? Why  should we always prefer the actual real pain … than the nightmares of our  illusive  dread?